Back in Bondage?

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

1 Peter 5:6-9

It’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged. So much for a daily blog for this month (much less the year)! I mentioned in November that I hoped this blog would bring a little bit of public accountability. Let’s just say, it didn’t work! Good thing the Spirit is so good to convict us and draw us back to Himself.

I have mentioned several times how the Lord has freed me from shame. That is 100% true, but like the Israelites wanted to return to Egypt, I find myself drawn back to the chains of slavery. Though I have tried to hide it (successfully, I think), my thoughts and actions have been slowly drifting back into the ways of one enslaved to shame. Fearful thoughts, controlling desires, and works meant to earn grace have dominated my life. I didn’t even realize as I slipped back into the old ways.

Then, earlier this week, our worship pastor gave me four songs to consider for choreography. Two of the songs in particular spoke to the deepest part of my heart. But as circumstances and thoughts worked together, fear built up within me and I decided that I couldn’t do it. My focus was on myself and my fellow man, so I was ready and willing to walk right down the path back to Egypt and drop dancing.

As I said, I am so thankful that the Spirit is so kind to draw us back to Himself. He used a study on the life of David to remind me who I am and who I am not. I am His child, sealed and filled with His Spirit which will enable me for all His good purposes. I am not a slave to this world or to the deceiver. So as Peter exhorts, I humbled myself before Him, casting my cares on Him. I must continue to do that daily — even moment by moment!

And hopefully I will now do a better job of the next charge Peter gives. I will be watchful, ready to resist the lion who desires to attack me by distracting me from the Sovereign God who has great plans and purposes for His precious child!

What about you? Have you returned to Egypt? I plead with you, do not live in bondage! Yes the slavery is familiar and known! Yes, freedom takes work to maintain. But it is SO worth it! Walk freely — enjoying Him, worshiping Him, and glorifying Him. 🙂

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One thought on “Back in Bondage?

  1. I am so proud of you for blogging about this. I have a similar battle. I fight the battle of being accepted, being good enough, not wanting to be different from just about everyone and through that battle trying to earn my way while keeping others at a distance so that no one can help or hurt. truth is: There is nothing about me that is good enough. But being a child of God automatically makes me good enough.

    I think the real battle is not necessarily what the battle is. Although It is important to identify it so that we can be watchful like you said. I think the real battle for us is in the action and delivery of being watchful. How we handle the day the day. Everyone has a battle. It is waking up each day prepared for battle. Are we living like its wartime with Satan? This is where my battle causes shame, when I’ve had a bad day and succomed to my fleshly man. But oh what a mighty God we serve! With each battle, the Lord is always there to make such wonderful use for His glory! He loves us dearly and that alone makes getting up each day worth its battles. After all, its not about us.

    Thank you again Kimm for your bravery and openness! Love you.

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